I just found this piece on one of my flash drives. It was selected for the Crescent City Farmers' Market Second Annual Aubergine Monologues. Reading it made me hungry and homesick, so we ordered our dinner tonight from a nearby po-boy shop that actually buys their french bread from N.O. 

-----------------------------------                                                                                                           What's in a Name? by Shannon Blady

Aubergine, Get your butt in here and clean up this mess, girl.

Every time you fry those eggplants, you get breadcrumbs all over the place.

And look at that grease ya let pop all over the floor.

Don’t you know how to put newspaper down?

Good Lord, Auby.  How many eggplants did you buy?

….Eggplant…Why they call it that anyways?

Eggs don’t grow on plants and they sure ain't white like eggs.

Aubergine, what color's that? Purplish black? Sure is pretty.

Looks like a bad bruise, huh? It’s like the hair color of that little

punk rock girl ya go to school with.

Ya put a little salt on ‘em first?

That gets rid of that little bitterness ya taste sometime, ya know.

Ya doubled up the paper towels? Gotta absorb that oil.

Ooh, they sure are hot.

Let me taste just one to make sure ya know what ya doin’.  

Oooweee, Aubergine, girl I taught ya right.

So crispy and they melt in ya mouth.

Now let’s clean up this mess and eat ‘em all before your fat Aunt Ambrosia gets home.